Conundrum and Cannabis.

This was supposed to be a Medium post but I have been told Medium is more for professional stuff so I moved my stuff here. I wanted to give the most quirky title to my first medium post but I guess this is what it is going to be.

My husband claims that he takes around 5–6 hours for coming with a title. I use to write something down and then think of a title. I should have stuck to that technique. It works for me. On the second thought, I probably might change the title. Incase I do, its “Who am I?” for now.

This is a loaded question. I don’t know how to answer this. I can say that I am a girl who studied engineering and did her MBA in Marketing and Finance. She got married to a guy who is more like a best friend. I think I just friend-zoned my husband. I live in Mountain View, the heart of Silicon Valley and I worked for Google’s Self Driving car Project. I left my job because I wanted to pursue my career in UX Design. I can further talk who my parents are and what kind of foods I like. I like to go to new places. I am not a music fan but people tell me that I have a nice voice.

I just summed up my life in a paragraph.

I once read a book in which the author talked about a friend who documented everything in a journal. He was intrigued if given a chance, how his friend could talk about himself because he had recorded everything. I used to try to be like that friend recording everything and then I just stopped. I became melodramatic and burnt all the diaries I ever possessed because I was upset about who I was. It seemed that burning all my personal stories would give me a second lease at life. Then I stopped. I did not write anything and even if I did, I wrote it and deleted it. It was a huge conundrum considering I wanted to be heard and still not talk about myself.

Anyway, the author of that book thought that his friend could tell anybody about his life because he could relive those moments again and again and never forget what happened. My 26 year old just summarized myself in a paragraph. Its not that I don’t have any significant moments to talk about. My Facebook feed says that I had fun last year but I don’t remember how I felt back then. Does that mean everything that I feel will be gone and all that will be left is the smoke coming out of a joint? (I don’t smoke by the way but the way I feel about this, I could not think of any other metaphor.)

So I have tried two things. I have tried to record my life and not record it. The first approach made me feel that I was not writing about a very exciting life. The second one certainly does not require me to fill in empty pages but makes me feel incompetent to answer who I was.

I don’t know what I am going to do about this situation but I did figure out a title for this post.