Spoken unspoken

There are many things which are better unspoken of. One of them is that nobody wants to be a part of your pain every time you feel sad. Nobody wants to listen to your tirade of the glorious past you had and nobody wants to know why you cried.

What do you do then?

You simply start ingesting your sorrow and pray that the future is bright and in a moment of privacy, relish the golden life you had before.

Nothing much

Its the oldest story in the world. You are sixteen one day getting ready for your first board exam and the next you are just resigning from your first job trying to figure out better avenues to go to.

In between you meet so many people. Some become friends from strangers and some become strangers from friends.

I can't say there are no regrets, but I can say that few unsettling days can make your track go in a different way all together. A little distance away can turn into millions of kilometers leaving just a whiff of a memory of the journey.

There are so many places to go as yet. Will it be as smooth as it has been? Questions such as these are answered by time, only if we are patient enough.

Lots of roles, lots of dialogue and then plain silence. That's life!

Train journey

This post is dedicated to all those who are as lost as I am. For the record I am in a train and listening the tunes of Lucky Ali asking 'zindagi' what it wants with so many 'rastas'.

Remember when we were kids and got the summer holiday homework?
My mom used to get at least 10 photocopies of the thing and by the end of June I had only one copy left. I have no idea where the other 9 went. I don't remember ever flushing them or well throwing them.

Anyway I used to be enthused every time that this time, I would complete my homework by may and then enjoy june. Alas, it never happened and sometimes I even took two days after the reopening of school to finish my holiday homework.

Most of the work was usual stuff with maths teachers offloading their pressures of syllabus by giving two chapters of book as holiday homework. Language teachers lacked imagination and gave us writing of one page everyday. Later the English teachers tried asking us to write book reviews of books like Mill on the Floss. Unfortunately the internet revolution had started by then. It was a time when everybody had funky email ids and no two persons were allowed to have the same passwords. Most of my classmates copied book reviews and others copied exact sentences from the book. The good old days!

I had a Casio. I apologize a 'keyboard'. For ten years of calling it Casio, a classmate in a rock band told me it is supposed to be called a 'keyboard'. I felt so embarrassed. It was meant to be a cutting comment. Now that I have completed my MBA, I realize how much the company 'Casio' must have spent on its branding. It was a time when you tried to be more sophisticated by drinking 'Coke' instead of 'Pepsi', when cousins came and you crashed on makeshift beds on the floors because you wanted to sleep together. Now that I think of it, I don't remember ever happening again. We have all grown up into 'cool' adults who barely talk to each other . We have all left that era when being on ICQ seemed cool.

My first email was redridinghood@ yahoo.com . I don't even know if the account still exists.

Anyway it was in the past. Now I want to change the way things are. I want to contribute to the world. I want to change it in some way. I think it is possible.

While I am writing this Lewis Carroll mocks me in my head saying that 'if you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there'.

May June roundup

I have started reading a book by somebody called Siddharth Sharma. It is called Love your Mondays and Retire Young.

According to Ankita B., one cannot love his/her job. It is called a job because you are obligated to do it. Others say that they love their jobs. They say how can you progress if you hate it so much?

I wanted to be in the latter. I spent two months crying and complaining to anybody who would hear my tragic story of the job I dont like. When they stopped listening, I spoke to myself. (Dark days they were)

Then a few days ago, I was given a jolt. I was told that one of my uncles who used to remain always happy go lucky was going to die. My parents came pretty often and discussed how his cancer had engulfed him. I was already going through a "phase" which people generally associate with hormonal changes. My behaviour was rough. I was angry all the time. I hate every aspect of my job. Basically I had become so discontent that I even considered leaving everything and running away.

One of my friends gave me a warning that I was losing grip and finally the realization seeped in. The thing is my last exam was on May 5, 2014. My joining was on May 7, 2014 to a new place which felt less hospitable with every second. It has been a struggle and still is. When I tell people that I have worked for only two months they are surprised. They seemed to think that I have worked long and just need redemption.

Anyway to deal with this, I have decided to develop two versions of myself. One is the one I am usually and the other one is my gangster role with a standard local Gunda name called Hateli Fracture. Hateli Fracture can punch people on the face and should ideally wear a knuckle duster.

The change is pretty instantaneous. I am hungry once again and I want to change the world again. I want to change and contribute to the world. I want to make it better.

Anyway let me go and grab a pack of chips. Anyway tc..:)

Something random

I like Aamir Khan movies but I love Shahrukh Khan. I even sat through jab tak hai jaan, and I liked it. There is nothing like that awesome feeling one gets  when while munching salted popcorn, one sips icy cool Pepsi and watch Shahrukh Khan getting hit twice by a vehicle.

Anyway my grandmother is watching saas bahu serials and I am sitting in a zone of 15 GB of WiFi.

I go to office everyday. They say its difficult but I still want to try. I think people try to complicate lives. I don't get it. It is very easy. You help me.  I will help you. You lie and scare me. I will try not to talk to you.

Building relationships take time. My longest ties with my friends dates back till my school days.

Delhi drearies stories continued

I have issues with people who smoke. At least people who drink alcohol do not effect people who are not drinking.

My auto rickshaw driver is smoking his lungs out. I feel like showing him 'mukesh' ka tobacco ad.

So here's the thing. After engineering, I have somehow landed up with liars. In university, the lying was limited to one person. Job also has its share of plastics but delhi is becoming better.

Delhi summer without a car is accompanied with headaches, cough, cold, dehydration, bargaining headaches, heated traffic jam waits, fear of dying and etc

Without that, it is accompanied with traffic jams, fear of dying etc.

Time freeze please!

I could not decide an apt title for this post.

The past two days were beautiful and horrible at the same time. 

I got abused at and was subjected to the worst meets grill ever.

I have finally decided to move on.

It was beautiful because I lived a different facet of Delhi. It was beautiful. The Delhi I live is dusty and with really bad roads. Recently I came across better options. It was magnificent. I had one of the best companies. 

I think the problem lies in my location. I called up a few clients who got scared when I wished good morning because I spoke English. They were okay when I said namaskar.

My supervisor asked me to be more strict and firm. I was polite. The funny part was that it worked. The customer understands that he will be at a loss if he doesn't behave and fulfil his obligations.

I am having a hollow feeling in my heart and I wished time could still